Sogyal Rinpoche says of nature of mind, ‘Confined in the dark, narrow cage of our own making which we take for the whole universe, very few of us can even begin to imagine another dimension of reality’

 

Tibetan Book of Living & Dying

 

 

                        

Couple

 “If people chose partners by what they are rather than what they think they are,
there wouldn’t be any deals.
That hopefulness is what makes a deal.”
—Elvin Semrad, MD

Difficulties in a partnership can cause distress, disappointment, guilt, rejection or loneliness. Increasingly, couples are seeking counselling as a means of improving or rescuing their relationship.
We all seek connection. It is a natural drive in life. But sometimes we get lost in the relationship to the point where we forget our own selves, our own goals and desires in life.

What is Couples Counselling & Psychotherapy?

The purpose of Couples Therapy is to help you stay together as a couple unless you expressly wish to separate, in which case, couples counselling can help you to do that more amicably. In most cases, there is a way forward with Couples Counselling but it requires an effort on both parts and an acceptance that it can be a long and difficult process.

What happens during Couples Counselling?

A Couples Counsellor can take on a number of different roles during the counselling process. They may act as facilitator, mediator, container and/or observer. Couples counsellors work to support you as a couple and will point out patterns and modes of communication over the course of their observations. Couples therapists often encourage each of you to take responsibility for your own choices and actions. Above all, the therapist, rather than sorting out the issues for you, will help you in the way you go about sorting the issues.

It is often thought that couples therapy is different from individual therapy as the focus is on the relationship between the two people involved rather than the specific issues of one individual. The relationship is considered to be the ‘patient’ in need of help.

However, although the main focus of couple therapy is the problems existing in the relationship between two people, an exploration into each individual’s issues and difficulties is necessary in order to understand better the relationship conflicts. For example, frequent arguing within the relationship may be better understood by exploring the individual’s anxiety, anger or depression.

In couples therapy, the psychotherapist or counsellor helps you and your partner identify the conflict issues within your relationship. This is in order for you to be aware of and able to make appropriate changes in your behaviour as an individual and also make healthy decisions regarding your interaction as a couple within the relationship.

I/Janus Counselling has experience in helping a diverse range of couples from a variety of racial, ethnic, and spiritual backgrounds. We believe that love comes in a wide variety of forms. Couples can be married or dating, gay or straight. We recognize that most couples seeking therapy are usually facing some issue they have been unable to resolve alone. The decision to enter couples counselling can often be a difficult one, so we will be as sensitive and supportive as possible. 

Our goal is to provide couples with tools to solve ongoing problems as well as to help them find greater levels of intimacy and understanding. We initially help couples discuss their issues in a constructive, non-threatening manner, helping them communicate more effectively and listen better to each other; these two things being central to a healthy, progressive relationship. Once healthy dialogue is established, the couple then works to resolve hurt feelings and overcome current problems with the aid of the therapist.

Common issues addressed include:

  • communication problems
  • intense arguments
  • infidelity
  • broken trust
  • marriage preparation
  • parenting conflicts
  • emotional distance
  • sexual problems
  • coping with addiction
  • adjusting to recent changes in relationship
  • inability to resolve ongoing conflict

Sessions last 90 minutes. The sessions are confidential between you and the counsellor. The only time confidentiality is breached is when the therapist fears for your safety or another person’s safety.

If you are interested in learning more about beginning couple therapy, please go to our Contact Page or call (087) 1520515